My vast wealth allows me access to the very latest gadgets. I'm famed from Burley-in-Wharfedale to the far side of Addingham for my love of technology.

Lomax Commodities is now branching out and I'm pleased to announce our new mobile phone. Tealeaf has put together a small presentation which he assures me highlights the wonderful features.

However, I must warn you, that this exclusive and collectable item will cost many hundreds of pounds.

A month's wages or more for the likes of Tealeaf.